God, you have a Gmail address?

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 21:13:00 GMT

ah right so this journal totally died about seven months ago. if you're interested, my new journal is lemmethink_nooo

ahaha now i'm all struck with nostalgia and want to update this one too. way to go.

My God, of course I still love him

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 20:01:48 GMT

how could i have been so blind? i'm not over billie...what was i thinking?

maybe i had just gone for too long without listening to green day.
maybe i was just...overcome with my crush on killa.

but good lord, i don't know why i would have thought that.

see, i was watching this video of this guy playing a medley of green day songs on the piano on youtube, and like he started playing Jesus of Suburbia and all of the sudden like, it came back. like, this feeling ran up my legs and arms and i started grinning and playing the song in my head.

i think what it was was that, though of course i'm still like madly in love with him, it's more in perspective now. it's not an obsession, just...i don't know how to describe it. but DUH it's still there.

hmm...

well in other news i still get completely goofy whenever i have to interact with killa. HAHA oh god i hate my life sometimes but thats okay because he's not exactly the coolest guy ever. it's fine.

here im embedding that vid so you all can see it.

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 07:04:25 GMT

oh, and this just in:

john's officially perfect.

please note the shoes. and rthat fucking mcdreamy look that im SUCH a sucker for!

[that would be the dark sweater over the white button down with the white collar and shirt cuffs out and showing.

mm mm mm mm mm...dreamy.

Jim Halpert is delicious.

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 06:46:08 GMT

sorry, but its true.

im here watching the office off of my ipod and practically having a seizure, because, okay, the second episode of season 3 is called "the convention" and jim is there and wearing this white button down shirt with the top button unbuttoned and his bag pulls it over so you get to see the top of his collarbone and some of his shoulder...and skin...and...um...[see now i dont understand why i can think these things but saying them / putting them to paper is just so fricking embarrassing]...chest hair.
basically lots of goodness.
case in point: please note the...um...well-endowedness of my icon. please.
i was watching this week and that shot came on and my jaw dropped. i was like mygod.

point being he's delicious.

anyways, moving on from the subject of john krasinski's drool-worthy good looks.

so, this whole "i have a crush on my 22 year old math teacher" thing. it's kind of awkward.
i blush.
a lot.
a whole fricking lot.
like, every time he looks at me / talks to me / comes within two feet of me / sometimes even spontaneously during class.
it's a little bit depressing.

but, frankly, i'm a little pissed.
no one will let me talk about it, which i find really fucking hypocritical. like, no one objected to me blathering on and on and on about gordon and will and billie and grant and any fucking one else.
it just really bothers me that suddenly it's taboo to tell stories about it. i dont know.
and, like, i get that it's a little more...awkward, i suppose, for me to have a thing for my teacher, but at the same time, if you're going to tell me that it's not weird to have a thing for him, and that it's normal and that it shouldn't freak me out, then dont be bullshitting me about it.

see, and i was so giggly because of jim when i started writing this, but now im just pissed off. so fuck you.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 00:26:44 GMT

i was tagged, so, what the hell:

RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.
Completion optional, but I'll love you more if you do!

1. I have a tendency to flail.

2. I wish I could sing like an opera singer. Then maybe I wouldn't suck so bad.

3. My cell phone is always on my person...to the point that it's weird / obsessive.

4. If I know you really well, I answer the phone, "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

5. I have a ridiculous crush on John Krasinski / Jim Halpert.

6. If I could be anyone in the world I'd probably choose Hilary Duff.

7. I've never been kissed.

8. I have a painfully awkward crush on my math teacher.

9. I don't like to let people see me cry; it makes me feel like I let them win.

10. In 4th grade I wanted everyone to call me Jewel.

too_many_curls
tallovesbillie
blowme_down (screw no tagbacks i dont have LJ friends)

in other news:

so, um, crushes on teachers. make my life kind of like a living hell. but actually make it kind of fun.
see, there's a lot of really REALLY painful awkward instances in which i blush.
like, today. i didn't get how to do one of the problems, so i asked mr. k how to do it. and then proceeded to blush when he came next to me and was leaning over my desk and gesturing to my notebook and crap. oh, and he threatened to take my english homework because it was on my desk even though i told him that i hadn't been using it (i hadn't...i pay attention in sean's class.)
but then he gave it back to me and goes "alright, just, you know, put it away."

oy.

plus now im worried that he's replaced gordon and will.

and i've been feeling strangely apathetic towards billie.

which could mean...oh sweet jesus, please dont be true...

the only person i have a crush on is my math teacher?

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 22:46:42 GMT

alright since you freaky little stalkers have taken to reading my LJ -- you know who you are -- im going to make a post for you.

you are so frigging creepy! my god, girl, you're supposed to be a catholic! what would your mother think? honestly.
anyways, so while i was driving up to the studio, i saw none other than KURT COBAIN biking into town, being awkward and little and greasy and generally amazing. it's fine.
so i was thinking for our date tomorrow night...
hmm, what movies are playing in town?
the good shepherd and night at the museum. hmm... angelina jolie and matt damon OR ben stiller with dinosaurs. hmm.
what time shall we go at? we must have sara back by ten.
party pooper.

how was the party trip to beval? did it smell delicious / make you think of me and how much i love that smell?
because it should have.
so what exactly is this horse show that is cutting our festivities short on sunday night?
wait im confused. what's the plan?
is it all three of us sunday, our date saturday? are we not going on a date?
oh god im confused.
hey, can you download the songs from king dork off of amazon?
maybe i'll try.

in other news i have a crush on my math teacher ohgod.

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 20:09:31 GMT

fringe benefit last night!!!

it was AMAZING and i now have huge crushes on a couple of more guys...hooray.

but, like, at least they're nice drama kids, and not jackass lacrosse/hockey/football players, okay?

so the first one, andrew checketts (who has a facebook, i looked), was in "grease" with me, and like he had to put his arm around me during one of the parts...needless to say, i was sold pretty damn quick.
and then later, he was complaining to a couple of guys about something and i was sitting there putting my shoes on and i look up and go "what's wrong?" and he goes "there's no soda in this high school!" and i laughed and was like "oh, haven't you heard? soda's contraband in high schools" and he shakes his head and goes "fuck that."

the other one is, of course, gelato boy. there's just too much to say about him, so i wont say anything.

but omg omg OMG

IM GOING TO SEE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE ON FEBRUARY 23RD WITH blowme_down! i am so...excited...you cant possibly imagine.

what else, what else...

dunno. i have a bit of homework to finish up, then i might very well grace comingclean with a ficlet. who knows.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox MWAH

first of the year

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 20:42:03 GMT

this would be my first little update of 2007.

HOORAY HAPPY NEW YEAR YADA YADA YADA

now that the formalities are over, i have a few updates for you all.

1. I got a 98 on my personal narrative today in english. score.
2. I've become obsessed with The Office -- is it just me, or is my math teacher like a dead ringer for jim?

hmm...what else...

hahahahahahaha i love how i'm trying to seem nonchalant about this.

WILL AND YANA BROKE UP

*happy dance*

this year is shaping up to be much better than last year.

last year definitely kind of really sucked. like, if it hadn't been for MAY 19TH it definitely would have been one of the worst years in history. but billie makes everything better, doesn't he.

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 04:10:03 GMT

so i caved and got an actual blog on blogger.com
i'll put the url in at the end of this post.
but see the thing is is that i want it to be like a real blog not just full of my hormonal rantings about boys. that's what this one is for.
so if anyone reading this has any ideas for what i can write about, feel free to comment.

here's the link:
http://whatareyouringingthisgeekfor.blogspot.com/

you're so excited.
any input would be AMAZING and i'd love you forever.
:D

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 20:58:52 GMT

hmmm...christmas is over, which means no more annoying christmas music. thank goodness.

christmas was really good, though. i got a new phone, thank jesus and all that is good and holy. i love it. it's adorable. i bought the greatest ringtones -- longview, poprocks and coke, crooked teeth, alison, radio radio, julia.
and i got a green day wallpaper. HOORAY.

hmm, what else.

we're going to go into new york this weekend, to see the tree and my sister and get dance shoes and just generally be amazing because that's work NYC is really good for.

i feel really grown up all of the sudden. i dont know. but here's the thing.
i'll be sixteen in september, which means that i can drive.
i can also get a job now, because in connecticut you can be employed at most places at the age of fifteen.
and i have really nice clothes, and i look good, you know?

i don't really understand. i just suddenly feel...ready, i guess. do you get it?

yeah.

plus, for my birthday, we're going to california to have my birthday at rudy's can't fail cafe. and i'm praying every night that my parents perform an act of God and somehow contact green day and get them to be there.

after all, what could be a better birthday present than the man you're madly in love with, right?

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 05:11:57 GMT

MERRY CHRISTMAS

it is so sad that im thinking about christmas with the armstrongs, isnt it.
god, what i'd give to spend christmas with him.

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 05:17:57 GMT

so im sleeping in the guest room in my house because both of my sisters are home for christmas, and my oldest sister has allergies and the middle sister doesnt like sleeping in here, so saint julia is in here til wednesday.
but that's okay, because there's a tv in here, which means that i can stay up until 2:45 every morning and watch tv and write. it's a wonderful life.

now im watching pretty in pink, even though i hate it because (a) andrew mccarthy has NO CHIN, (b) she ends up with blaine instead of ducky, which is just obnoxious, and (c) her prom dress is HORRIBLE.
but the reason i watch it is because, i swear to god, every time i harbor a little bit of hope that andie will choose ducky in the end.
and every time my hopes are dashed.

im desperate for more pictures of billie in hawaii. UNGH. billie + water + tattoos + paparrazzi = very very very happy me. the end.

hes SO HOT.
</rant>

i'd definitely rape him.
it's fine.

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 21:48:24 GMT

morning.

so, okay, so, i was gonna write this as though we already knew each other (oo! another shameless self-insertion? I NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED IT!), but then it just wasn't realistic enough. so then.

i just want to post what i had so far, more my my own and blowme_down 's sake than for anything.

so yeah.

“Please welcome to the stage,” the older English man said into the microphone, leaning towards the crowd, which had already begun brimming with excitement in anticipation of his entrance.

“Billie Joe Armstrong!”

The crowd went wild, as a good portion of it was composed of Green Day fans, there not only to see Elvis Costello, but also to show support for their one and only guitarist.

Billie walked out onto the stage, smiling, guitar in hand, to the cheers of what seemed like thousands of fangirls.

He sidled up to the bar, right behind the girl with the blonde hair in the black dress. He leaned into her ear, his cheek barely grazing her hair.

“Did it hurt?” he murmured.

She began to turn, speaking as she did so. “What?”

He smirked. “When you fell from…” His jaw dropped open as he realized to whom he was speaking. “Oh, shit.”

Julia raised one eyebrow, smirking. “You were saying?”

He stammered. “Uh…um…uh…” He let out a breath.

She leaned back against the bar, arms folding loosely under her chest, still smirking. “You know, I probably should have pegged you for the type to use that pickup line.”

He made a face at her. “Yeah, well, if I’d known it was you.” He flopped dejectedly onto the stool next to her.

“Oh, so if I had just been a random girl, I’d have to shut you down right now?”

He opened his mouth to retaliate, then thought better of it, sagging. “Probably.”

She giggled.

He rested his elbow on the bar, looking at her. “Wanna get out of here?”

Her eyebrow went up again. “Someone’s really delving into the cheesy pickup lines tonight.”

He rolled his eyes. “Not what I meant.” The little voice in the back of his head begged to differ. He stood and held his arm, bent at the elbow, out to her.

She slid off of her stool and took his arm, walking slowly out of the bar with him.

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 21:17:10 GMT

one sentence sums up how i feel right about now.

and so, to quote the wonderful mister armstrong, on November 10, 2001:

I don't like dealing with most fucking people.

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:57:20 GMT

can we PLEASE talk about this picture

please.
please.
please.

p.s. is that a cross i spy? you said you were fucking agnostic, dude. I KNEW IT.
love you.

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 21:09:24 GMT

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

i've been neglecting you by keeping my rantings away

im sorry im sorry im sorry

i've just been really busy! last week i had auditions monday-wednesday, then piano thursday, then voice and acting friday, a sleepover friday night, sleepover recovery on saturday, and sunday i was babysitting. it's not my fault.

but the good news is i have a lot of story ideas that i've been mulling over. my personal favorite?

A BILLIE/WILL FIC

how sick-nasty is that?
believe me, it's pretty sicknasty, seeing as i had a dream about it.

is it weird to use will as one of my characters? i cant decide if it is...i mean, i suppose it's not because it's not like he's copyrighted or anything, plus i mean i am changing some characteristics....aka my will is NICE. ha.

he's still dating the yana beast. ungh, it's painful. but he's beautiful.

everyone is now starting to think that at like our 5 or 10 year reunion will and i are gonna be together with like a bevy of children. hey, man, i wouldnt mind. that's a damn good gene pool.

today i had a stage crew meeting for fiddler (seeing as i didnt get in...grrr) and then i auditioned for the one act play, cecile. but wait, get this:
tomorrow, i'm reading for the lead role. how SWEET would that be? dee and erin would be so proud of me. <3

hmm...what else, what else...

i dunno. i cant really think of anything else to write, so...CIAO

gurgle

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 19:56:07 GMT

i hate days like this. because they always end with will being my favorite.
well, actually, they just make me realize that he's always my favorite.
which is SO INCREDIBLY ANNOYING, if you've never experienced it.

so, anyways, i'll explain how exactly i came to be in this predicament on this day.

see, we watched these projects that we had to do in english, and will's group did "the real world" for theirs, and he played the character that was gay.
as in, he wore an argyle sweater and a HEADBAND. its fine...he's clearly very comfortable with his sexuality.
and then there was this scene where he was just wearing a wifebeater and shorts. and you could see his arms and shoulders.
his very muscular tan and toned arms.
which are undoubtedly very nice to have wrapped around you.
in the middle of the night.
while you're asleep.
with your head on his chest.

but i digress.

they used his dad and sister as extras. his sister is so cute, she was so shy on the video. but he's definitely the pretty child in the family, although i still havent seen THE TEEJ (his little brothers name is TJ, okay? dont hate)

but still...THE GEORGE ON CAMERA

YAYYYYYY

i have to go be sappy and inlovewithwilliamwesleysimpson now. bye.

another anniversary

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 19:41:10 GMT

this one is the six month anniversary of when me, melissa, courtney and sara went to AC to see decades rock live: elvis costello and friends, starring none other than BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG

...and, of course, elvis costello.

*dreamy grin* front row, waving at billie, yada yada yada, they put me on tv when they broadcast it. hooray. i love him, the end.

that's basically the only way to sum it up.

oh, and sara and i met adrienne. shes MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER

besides billie.

hahaha okay the end.

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:50:11 GMT

fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

will simpson made me cry again.

see, what happened is this:
it was lunchtime, and the bell had rang, so i was leaving the cafeteria, and i walked past the table where he and yana were sitting, and as she went to leave...they kissed.

effectively ripping my heart from my chest, detaching my soul from my body. and let me tell you this...

it hurts.

it hurts like a motherfucking bear.

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 04:22:03 GMT

so apparently new canaan high school gets bomb threats.
at least, i'm assuming they do, since i'm currently under house arrest because of one.

see, i guess we did get one, because the superintendent and our principal posted on the school website that we cant bring backpacks tomorrow, etc., and so then naturally me and my big mouth mentions to my mom that maybe people aren't going.

and so now i, too, am one of those people. HOW LAME AM I

seriouslyyyyy. i'm distressed. i'm being held at home against my will...and apart from my will. and my gordon.

how annoying is that??

i dont even know if anyone else isnt going. probably not. which means i'll be stuck at home all day with my dad and my brother. whoop dee freakin doo.

so now im watching fantasia.

eat shit, terrorist bastards.

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 21:09:20 GMT

i'm procrastinating. i do that a lot.

gordon kind of held my hand today. it was fucking adorable. see, we passed each other in the hall, and he held his hand out for a high-five, and i kind of flopped my hand onto his, and then he like kept my hand on top of his, and we each kept walking, and my hand was like trailing behind me before he let go.

he loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah...

haha

will has a black eye. from his fucking girlfriend.

i hate him
i hate her
i hate them

she's not even, like, smart. although i somehow doubt the relationship is based on intellectual compatibility.

hmmm...what else, what else...

OMG who else saw that ridiculously sexy photo of billie and adie? RIDICULOUSLY. i'm like, dude, i wanna have sex with you.
he's just too hot for his own good.
seriously. waaaaaaaay too hot.

i got to email gordon the latin translation. SCORE

here's how it went
(this all happened because i got a 91 on the last test, and got all of the vocab right)

Gordon: how'd you get all that right?
Me: well, the typed translation helps.
Gordon: really?
Me: *nods*
Gordon: hmmm...
Me: want me to email it to you?
Gordon: *smirking* well, i don't want to get any spam mail from you...
Me: *laughing* yeah, uh huh, sure. *gets planner out, hands it to him* here. write down your email address. i'll email it to you.
Gordon: *contemplates, and then writes email address down*

SCORE FOR PLAYING FORWARD

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 05:00:54 GMT

oh. my. god.

GDA's enlisting fans to write different sections of green day's bio, right?

i'm writing dookie. how fucking psyched am i.

and no, courtney, you cant edit it.

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 21:25:59 GMT

i had to work in a group with will today. originally, when miss hayes told us that we were gonna be in our groups today, i really didn't want to, because the last time we were in our groups he was in one of his moods, and therefore didn't participate much, was incredibly intimidating, etc.
but he wasn't like that today. he sat next to me, talked, was funny/really really strange. he hadn't brought his copy of macbeth, right, so first he was using emily's book, but then she took it back and he's sitting there moaning and groaning about how he now doesn't have a book and "has no idea what's going on", so, naturally, to shut him up, i let him use my book. and received a great many thanks from him for it, actually.
and we kept switching back and forth as to who had the book, and when he'd hand it to me, it'd be all warm and...covered in will-ness. needless to say, i was pretty happy.
it's funny; a lot of the time, we were kind of there talking out of the corners of our mouths to each other (no, not literally). we'd just be sitting there having a low-voiced conversation about something other than tracing the word "night" in macbeth.
he's really dreamy.

gordon touched my leg today. and yes, i realize that it sounds like it merits a sarcastic "OMGNOWAY" reply, but seriously. see, i'm wearing my green velour juicy sweats, right, and he was like "token, what color green are those pants?" and i was like "olive" and then he proceeded to say that, yes, the part of my pants that the light was hitting was olive, but the part that wasn't illuminated was a different color. and then proceeded to drag the tip of his index finger up and down a small patch of my leg several times. i actually shivered.
he also noticed my earrings again. god, the guy's good.
he went shopping yesterday. with his mommy. AWWW.
he's adorable. it's fine.

will was wearing his tie-dye shirt today. *grin* he's adorable.
and yet i hate him.
because i dont particularly like being quite this mushy and gooey. like, i can handle some amounts of it, but this is just too extreme for my taste.
jackass. damn him for being so good looking.
*is suddenly hit with the image of will grinning at her today in english*
*big grin*
awwwwwww, baby.

so i guess that's why they include "for better and for worse" in the vows, huh?

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:28:20 GMT

no school today. elections and all that good shit.

thank god, though, because this means no more super-annoying politicians calling us every day and every night. ungh.

okay, so, here's what billie smells like, if anyone's wondering.

"Cigarettes, aftershave, maybe a lingering bit of perfume from Adrienne. Leather, mint. Something irrefutably male."

damn. am i the only one who can totally smell that?

*dreamy smile* who loves my icon?

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 21:09:26 GMT

you know what's the great thing about liking a nice guy like gordon? your efforts to improve your aesthetics never go unnoticed.

see, over all of the years that i've liked will, every time i would try to look extra cute or make my hair look really good or something, just so maybe there was a snowball's chance in hell that he'd notice...it would just be a waste of time, because of course he'd never notice.

but every time i look nice, like i wear a new sweater, or whatever, gordon finds some way to tell me i look nice.

like, take today, for instance.

so i've been wearing my hair wavy instead of straight these past couple of days, right? well, he was out on friday, so he didn't see this, so today he turns to me and goes "whoa, your hair's different than normal."
and i was like "yeah, it's wavy."
and he was like "yeah, that's what it is."
so then, of course, in an effort to get him to compliment me, i go, "does it look bad?"
and he shakes his head and goes, "no, it looks nice."

isn't that sweet?

and i was wearing these purple star earrings that i bought at a glass-blowing place in venice today, and he noticed them too!
he told me he liked them.

god, i love him.

and the best part of it is that i get really surprised and excited when he compliments me, because i'm so used to going unnoticed, that now that i like a guy who does notice, who does care...it's always a fantastic surprise.

God, you have a Gmail address?

My God, of course I still love him

Jim Halpert is delicious.

first of the year

*gurgle*

another anniversary

gurgle